your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My vagina just clenched in fear
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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