Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
