he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
