suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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