can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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