Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
