My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she smelled like a LAN party
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
