maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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