Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
