Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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