doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
