omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
