But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
