Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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