New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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