so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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