I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
