My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
