4 words: hood of his car
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You're like the curious george of whores
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
