You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
