Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
