I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
