She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
