My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
