Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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