wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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