I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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