I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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