Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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