Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Randomize
