Me too!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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