I'm so fucking centered right now
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
