He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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