Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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