yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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