A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
