so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
