awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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