Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
