And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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