I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
