...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
