There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I smell like Dick and happiness
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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