I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
