4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
