Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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