How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
