The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
