Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
