I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
