8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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