I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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