so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
