honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
