Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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