He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
